Category Archives: Health

Empowering Changes on the Mat

Image by Korakia.com
Image by YogaMatReviews.net

Image by YogaMatReviews.net

With only 10 days remaining in my 28-days of yoga, I had hoped practicing 30 minutes a day would become easy. Unfortunately, this has been one of the most surprising observations I’ve had about my experience: it hasn’t. Over the past 18 days I’ve worked long hours and had little time to myself due to obligations with my job. Though squeezing in time to practice yoga has been a daily challenge, I promised myself I would devote time to a personal goal and my well being, so I’m doing it.

Overall, performing yoga each day has reduced my stress level and increased my physical strength. I think my time on the mat has been both a gift and challenge, however, on nights like tonight — when I fall asleep on the couch after a long day — moving through sun salutations and holding poses are the last things I want to do. Hey, I’m being honest, here.

Despite my grumbling and the sleep in my eyes, I washed my face and went to the mat to practice. I haven’t missed a day, why would I start now? As I flowed through my movements I cared less about getting in all of my favorite poses or working out my arms and I chose to simply keep moving and breathing. The silence of my living room and new mat helped me ease into some light meditation. Slowly, I began to move beyond the tiredness from my day and in a way, I felt revived.

By the end, I was more centered and relaxed. I didn’t have a surplus of energy, or anything like that, but I had also overcome my self doubt and negativity about my 28-day challenge. I thought this was a small success overall, but then I had a realization. Each day I’ve done yoga there was something I needed to work out within myself. Today I was tired from not sleeping well the night before. Yesterday I felt weak. On Sunday I had anxiety about the week ahead. I discovered that going to the mat helps me identify emotions and tensions within myself that I wouldn’t necessarily recognize (no matter what type of yoga I’m doing — Vinyasa, Bikram or a blend of practices). When I practice yoga I am forced to confront these issues to establish the concentration required to breathe, hold poses and remember sequences. If I take nothing away from this experience, I hope I can at least remember the power of letting it go on the mat — even if that means forcing myself to get there and start.

A Novel Debut

The Mockingbirds

A Remedy in Writing

Originally Published by InterviewHer.com on November 1, 2010

Author and Media Expert Daisy Whitney

“Talking about things is what helps us heal and recover from challenging times in life,” explains Daisy Whitney, host of New Media Minute and author of The Mockingbirds. Yet, many women feel silenced about sexual abuse – especially teens who have been date raped. Daisy Whitney just might change that with her new book. She knows a thing or two about overcoming obstacles and finding the strength to speak out.

Daisy Whitney is a talented writer and media expert with a thriving personal business and family. She’s also releasing her debut novel, The Mockingbirds, on November 2, 2010, which has already received a starred review from Publisher’s Weekly. Yet, her journey to success and “masterfully” written novel began with a hardship — one that changed her life and inspired her to write about date rape, vigilantism and academic politics.

Daisy Whitney was date raped when she was 19-years-old and she understands firsthand what it means to find her voice and the strength to press charges against her attacker. “I was a freshman in college at the time and am definitely a big believer in the power of speaking up.”

With the support of her friends Whitney pressed charges in her school’s justice system at Brown University. “In the early nineties we were starting to understand date rape,” said Whitney in an interview. “Institutions now have disciplinary systems that recognize sexual assault as a violation of the

code.”

Thankfully, her school handled Whitney’s case and she healed from the incident by being able to talk about it and find closure for herself. After receiving her degree, Whitney started her career in journalism as a reporter and later founded her own business as a reporter and media expert.

The Mockingbirds is the first in a series about a secret society in a private high school called Themis Academy. The protagonist,Alex, is sexually assaulted after a night of drinking. She struggles to remember what happened that night as she copes with her fear of the classmate who raped her. Her friends provide guidance when she realizes that she has been violated and abused. In her quest to heal, she encounters the Mockingbirds, a student-run justice system and she decides to press charges against her attacker.

The Mockingbirds, by Daisy Whitney

In this exciting and evocative book, Whitney captures the complexity of date rape with her narrative about Alex, an exceptional concert pianist who wants to pursue music at Juilliard. Whitney creates a powerful scenario, filled with realistic characters that show teens the trials of coping and the importance of finding empowerment after assault.

The novel comes at a crucial time. One in six women will become victims of sexual assault during their lifetime, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN). Many of them are girls, ages 16-19. The California Coalition Against Sexual Assault estimates nearly half of reported cases of sexual assault and attempted rape are teens. “According to a study conducted by The Northern Westchester Shelter, with Pace Women’s Justice Center, about 83% of 10th graders said they would sooner turn to a friend for help with dating abuse than a teacher, counselor, parent or other caring adult,” said Whitney in an email.

For Daisy Whitney, speaking up and increasing awareness are not only key elements of her novel, they are also part of her business plan, turning her tragedy to triumph, while helping teens on the way.

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Vacation: The Work-Free Me

suitcase

I finally took a real vacation this year. I waited for cheap flights and a really good excuse to take some time off. Last week it was my friends’ wedding and a whole lot of family time. And, there’s nothing like a vacation to get some perspective.

Two Saturdays ago my husband and I set off to Southern California for five days where we spent time with family, ate some really good Mexican food (since it doesn’t exist in NY) and went through some old clutter in his parents’ new house. I also found some time to blog and catch up on my reading.

It’s funny how easy it is to do exactly what you want when you have free time. I’m not really sure why I don’t make more of an effort in the midst of my normal work week routine. My excuse is that I’m always tired, but really, if I just made an effort to prioritize things, they would be better. Working full-time shouldn’t consume my entire life — at least that’s what I’ve been thinking since my vacation.

So, after visiting the in-laws, we headed up North for five more days and visited my friends and family and went to our friends’ wedding in Berkeley. By this time I’d actually stopped stressing over the work I wasn’t doing and it was refreshing.

That’s the funny thing about vacation — I stress over the fact that I’m not doing anything. And, I think that’s the point in taking more than a four-day weekend, because then you eventually relax.

Anyway, my souvenir from my vacation was a new quest to improve my time management — I’m great at work, but when it comes to making the best of my work-free time — I’m ready to make a change. Below are my renewed goals post-vacation:

1. Don’t stay up too late. What’s the point? You need sleep, stick to the hours you need, you’ll accomplish more if you’re rested.

2. Make an effort to be at work on time, so you can leave on time. While showing up at 9:30 is fine in my office, getting in at 9 a.m. is better because then I won’t stay until 6:30 or 7 p.m. Leave at 6 p.m. and there’s more time in the evening.

3. Take time to do vacation tasks when you’re not on vacation. Read a ridiculous book all evening. Go for a walk. Paint your nails. Go for a long run. Whatever.

4. Stop thinking about work. Set a time after which you will not think or talk about work. Stressing over work in off hours is not healthy, it begets more anxiety.

5. Have fun. I know some people don’t need this reminder, but I totally do. I get so focused and absorbed I even schedule fun. Fun can be spontaneous too!

Alright those are my words of wisdom from my trip to California, let’s hope they stick!

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Lackluster Libido Language

strength-word

If there’s anything my fourth grade teacher taught me — aside from the importance of memorizing my multiplication tables — it’s the relevance of vocabulary. In school, words were my favorite. I adored spelling tests, reveled in playing dictionary roulette and now have a soft spot for the click-for-definition feature on the NewYorkTimes.com. However, there are a few words that irk me to no end. Like vagina.

Have you noticed how many words are gendered? Or, how many words regarding women are terribly sexist?

I mean, one of the most important parts of the female body is a pretty sexist term if you think about it. It’s the ultimate downer and it’s for our genitals — vagina — it sounds like an incurable infection. Eve Ensler had it right. No matter how many times you say it, “vagina” sounds so clinical and unappealing. Men get the simplicity and succinctness of “penis,” along with strong, powerful slang like “dick,” “cock” and “johnson.” The thing practically sounds like a law firm, or at least a Harvard educated lawyer.

And that’s precisely the point –everything about women and their bodies is referred to in diminutive, weak terms. “Pussy,” “snatch,” twat,” and “coochie” all sound like pet names — or worse, a waspy Connecticut wife who can’t even say the word “cunt” because she’s been taught to hate it so much.  But maybe that’s precisely the problem, if we were given nicer names for out “naughty” bits, we wouldn’t feel the need to punish them with these stupid nicknames. Don’t even get me started on cat and cougar references.

Obviously, there’s nothing we can do about “vagina,” but the slang words are ridiculous! And, what’s worse, even pharmaceutical companies are contributing to the sexism of gendered language.

Even sexual enhancement drugs are getting the shaft (and not in a good way!). The FDA is currently reviewing what some are calling “Viagra for women.” Well, truth be told, it’s REAL name is Flibanserin. Flibanserin? Really? So, let me get this straight, not only am I a pussy with a bad case of vagina, Flibanserin is my only treatment option? Meanwhile, men get a Harvard legacy in their pants and Viagra, to boot.

VIAGRA: by definition, the most potent and virile drug name ever. Men get a drug that sounds like a superhero or spaceship to rocket them to pleasure island, but we’re supposed to swoon over a pill to make us feel like superheroes with an STD.

(Woman enters bedroom.) “Honey, I got Flibanserin.”

(Lover looks up, worried.) “Is it contagious?”

Who needs a bad name to confuse sexy time? I’m sorry, it may be a sign of equality that researcher even developed a sexual enhancement drug for women, but if it’s called Flibanserin, will anyone buy it? Hopefully, if the drug proves to be safe and (O-so) effective, marketing people can have their way with Flibanserin and conceive something better.

Do Men Feel Pressure to be Fit?

Corbis Images

Last weekend I spent some much needed friend time with two women who are about my age, height and weight. We all wear around the same size clothing and have similar interests in fitness to slightly varying degrees. Yet, when it comes to diet and body image, I was stunned that we all had complaints.

“I should be eating this…”

“My new work out includes…”

“I’m on this diet…”

Image By GoodLife.com, Bola Browne

“I just want to tone my…”

Each one of us, though we are all healthy, felt like we had something to improve about our bodies. I couldn’t help but wonder why so many women who are aware of body image issues and the pressure to be pretty and thin in American culture, are unhappy with the way we look — when most of the men I know, do NOT.

You rarely hear men in their twenties and thirties discussing their need to eat right and work out, or feeling dissatisfied with their looks. And, as this article on magazine marketing points out, you don’t see diet articles geared to men nearly as much as women on the news stand.

So, I ask, what gives? Do men feel pressure to be fit and eat right? Do they obsess over their appearance? Are there things men would like to change about their bodies, but they don’t say it?

Or, is men’s fitness out of style unless you’re an athlete or gay? I know that skinny, hipster chic is popular among some men, but they aren’t talking about trying to be thin, or changing there diet. Are they?

In my opinion, it seems like there’s no pressure for men to be fit because it doesn’t affect their sex appeal. A man can be funny and smart and he’s a catch, even if he’s not conventionally good-looking, but if a woman has the same qualities, she “needs a makeover” so people will be attracted to her “personality.”

I think it’s the “Homer Simpson Effect,” he’s this lazy guy who never works out or eats veggies, but is endearing, so Marge loves him anyway. Meanwhile, Marge is always fit and fussing over her appearance. (I mean, think how long it would take to make your hair look like that!)

Homer is not the only guy who doesn’t care about his looks. In fact, most male characters on TV and in films, don’t talk about their appearance. Except in Eclipse, of course. We all remember Jacob Black‘s famous line to Edward, “I’m hotter than you.”

Image By Men's Health

Image By Men's Health

So,  now we have two men who look completely different– thin, pale and tall, versus muscular, tan and rugged — but both are “fit.” Which one do men want to emulate? Will they follow Taylor Lautner’s work out regimen, or will they look to more athletic types to model like Omar Epps?

And, since there’s been so much publicity over women careening over Team Edward and Team Jacob’s appearance, with Taylor Lautner running around without a shirt, or Robert Pattinson sparkling like diamonds on screen, do men feel the need to hit the treadmill and lay off the burgers?

What do YOU think? Are men pressured by society to be fit too? Or does the Homer Simpson effect just part of America’s obesity problem?