Category Archives: Healthy Living

Lackluster Libido Language

strength-word

If there’s anything my fourth grade teacher taught me — aside from the importance of memorizing my multiplication tables — it’s the relevance of vocabulary. In school, words were my favorite. I adored spelling tests, reveled in playing dictionary roulette and now have a soft spot for the click-for-definition feature on the NewYorkTimes.com. However, there are a few words that irk me to no end. Like vagina.

Have you noticed how many words are gendered? Or, how many words regarding women are terribly sexist?

I mean, one of the most important parts of the female body is a pretty sexist term if you think about it. It’s the ultimate downer and it’s for our genitals — vagina — it sounds like an incurable infection. Eve Ensler had it right. No matter how many times you say it, “vagina” sounds so clinical and unappealing. Men get the simplicity and succinctness of “penis,” along with strong, powerful slang like “dick,” “cock” and “johnson.” The thing practically sounds like a law firm, or at least a Harvard educated lawyer.

And that’s precisely the point –everything about women and their bodies is referred to in diminutive, weak terms. “Pussy,” “snatch,” twat,” and “coochie” all sound like pet names — or worse, a waspy Connecticut wife who can’t even say the word “cunt” because she’s been taught to hate it so much.  But maybe that’s precisely the problem, if we were given nicer names for out “naughty” bits, we wouldn’t feel the need to punish them with these stupid nicknames. Don’t even get me started on cat and cougar references.

Obviously, there’s nothing we can do about “vagina,” but the slang words are ridiculous! And, what’s worse, even pharmaceutical companies are contributing to the sexism of gendered language.

Even sexual enhancement drugs are getting the shaft (and not in a good way!). The FDA is currently reviewing what some are calling “Viagra for women.” Well, truth be told, it’s REAL name is Flibanserin. Flibanserin? Really? So, let me get this straight, not only am I a pussy with a bad case of vagina, Flibanserin is my only treatment option? Meanwhile, men get a Harvard legacy in their pants and Viagra, to boot.

VIAGRA: by definition, the most potent and virile drug name ever. Men get a drug that sounds like a superhero or spaceship to rocket them to pleasure island, but we’re supposed to swoon over a pill to make us feel like superheroes with an STD.

(Woman enters bedroom.) “Honey, I got Flibanserin.”

(Lover looks up, worried.) “Is it contagious?”

Who needs a bad name to confuse sexy time? I’m sorry, it may be a sign of equality that researcher even developed a sexual enhancement drug for women, but if it’s called Flibanserin, will anyone buy it? Hopefully, if the drug proves to be safe and (O-so) effective, marketing people can have their way with Flibanserin and conceive something better.

Do Men Feel Pressure to be Fit?

Corbis Images

Last weekend I spent some much needed friend time with two women who are about my age, height and weight. We all wear around the same size clothing and have similar interests in fitness to slightly varying degrees. Yet, when it comes to diet and body image, I was stunned that we all had complaints.

“I should be eating this…”

“My new work out includes…”

“I’m on this diet…”

Image By GoodLife.com, Bola Browne

“I just want to tone my…”

Each one of us, though we are all healthy, felt like we had something to improve about our bodies. I couldn’t help but wonder why so many women who are aware of body image issues and the pressure to be pretty and thin in American culture, are unhappy with the way we look — when most of the men I know, do NOT.

You rarely hear men in their twenties and thirties discussing their need to eat right and work out, or feeling dissatisfied with their looks. And, as this article on magazine marketing points out, you don’t see diet articles geared to men nearly as much as women on the news stand.

So, I ask, what gives? Do men feel pressure to be fit and eat right? Do they obsess over their appearance? Are there things men would like to change about their bodies, but they don’t say it?

Or, is men’s fitness out of style unless you’re an athlete or gay? I know that skinny, hipster chic is popular among some men, but they aren’t talking about trying to be thin, or changing there diet. Are they?

In my opinion, it seems like there’s no pressure for men to be fit because it doesn’t affect their sex appeal. A man can be funny and smart and he’s a catch, even if he’s not conventionally good-looking, but if a woman has the same qualities, she “needs a makeover” so people will be attracted to her “personality.”

I think it’s the “Homer Simpson Effect,” he’s this lazy guy who never works out or eats veggies, but is endearing, so Marge loves him anyway. Meanwhile, Marge is always fit and fussing over her appearance. (I mean, think how long it would take to make your hair look like that!)

Homer is not the only guy who doesn’t care about his looks. In fact, most male characters on TV and in films, don’t talk about their appearance. Except in Eclipse, of course. We all remember Jacob Black‘s famous line to Edward, “I’m hotter than you.”

Image By Men's Health

Image By Men's Health

So,  now we have two men who look completely different– thin, pale and tall, versus muscular, tan and rugged — but both are “fit.” Which one do men want to emulate? Will they follow Taylor Lautner’s work out regimen, or will they look to more athletic types to model like Omar Epps?

And, since there’s been so much publicity over women careening over Team Edward and Team Jacob’s appearance, with Taylor Lautner running around without a shirt, or Robert Pattinson sparkling like diamonds on screen, do men feel the need to hit the treadmill and lay off the burgers?

What do YOU think? Are men pressured by society to be fit too? Or does the Homer Simpson effect just part of America’s obesity problem?

Eight Ways To Cope Without Internet

Image By Western Dakota Tech

Over the past week and half I haven’t had internet in my apartment. One morning, we woke up without a signal and Time Warner Cable didn’t have any open appointments until this morning. The time during our outage really affected me. I never realized how much I use the web until I couldn’t check my email, blog, update Facebook, or even look up directions to restaurants and museums.

What’s funny, I consider myself an organized person, but without my internet connection, I felt lost and disoriented — like part of my brain was disconnected. Once I understood why I felt so weird, I was horrified!

Am I really that dependent on websites and my email? Turns out the answer is “yes.” However, if I’m going to learn anything from this experience, it’s how to feel connected without my high-speed wi-fi. So, I came up with a few things to remember for next time…

Brooklyn Museum

Image via Wikipedia

Last weekend I wanted to look up how long it would take to get to the Brooklyn Museum from my house so I could meet up with a friend for the free events on Target First Saturdays. Without a web connection, or even a Smartphone, which I ditched in the recession panic of 2009, I had to guess how long it would take to get there since I’d never been there before.

The result? I showed up to the museum about thirty minutes early and sat outside enjoying the sunshine. No biggie! In fact, it was quite nice and I got a little Vitamin D.

This little anecdote brings me to my first tip for coping without internet:

1. Be free with your time by arriving early for an appointment and enjoy a moment in the real world.

Often, I get caught up — filling my days to the brim, being efficient with my time and always rushing to the next thing. When you’re without internet, or simply taking a break from technology, give yourself time to find your way about town with real maps or ask someone for directions. Make your day an adventure, rather than a to-do list to check off. Sometimes it’s nice to only have a few things planned in a day and then going where the day takes you.

2. Read a good book, magazine, or the newspaper!

I’m sure we all read a good ol’ paper back when we get the chance, on our subway ride to work and on vacation. And without internet, I found I had so much more time on my hands. No 20 minutes on email here, or hour on Facebook there — that’s a lot of time to walk to the library to finish those items on your to-read list, or catch up with your favorite glossies from a local newsstand.

3. Chat with friends and family.

Though it’d be better to do this one in person if you can, talking on the phone is good too. I bet the number of texts and minutes on my phone will surely increase this month. Instead of sending emails and posting on Facebook at night and on the weekend, I was texting, leaving voicemails and even having lengthy conversations (I’m not usually one for liking the phone).

4. Save a copy of important dates, phone numbers, maps and addresses on your computer.

There were a few times I wished I had some information which I have stored in my Gmail account. Lesson learned, save stuff to my desktop.

5. Use free time to cook a delicious meal from memory or use a real cook book.

Many nights I’ll quickly type ingredients into the Google search bar and find a recipe lickety-split. Well, this week I went solo and cooked a few meals from memory, by taste or referred to an actual cook book. It was fun!

6. Take a lunch break.

There are times that I admit, I do not take a lunch break at work. Well, when your internet is out, take a lunch break and follow up on personal stuff for a few minutes, then step away from the computer! This is good practice even if you aren’t experiencing a connection outage at home.

7. Use snail mail.

Everyone appreciates getting real mail. Write a handwritten note to someone you care about. I know my pen pal will be happy I haven’t had internet. Must remember to mail her letter tomorrow…will I set an alert on my Gmail? Nah, I’ll remember…

8. Get over the fact that the online world will continue moving without you in it.

I know, we all like to stay on top of the latest YouTube videos, witty blogs, our friends’ silly status updates, movie reviews, etc. but without internet, you’re not going to see them, so don’t worry, they’ll be there and there will always be more…

Alright, that’s my advice. Hope your future internet free moments are liberating, rather than stressful.

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Time For a Summer Friday

Clock Image By auroracoda

Today is beautiful, but it’s not just the 84-degree weather. Each Friday during the summer employees at the company where I work can leave at 1 p.m. So not only did I take by green and blue striped heels for a warm walk uptown, a co-worker and I went out to lunch and visited the “American Woman: Fashioning a New Identity” exhibit at the Met.

Now after stepping through decades of women’s history and hard work, I’m resting on my couch, fan blowing on me from the window, with my feet up as I type away the afternoon sipping Diet Coke. This is an ideal moment for me.

Having finished a half day’s work and experiencing some of the fabulous things the city has to offer (including a white bean and arugula salad on Madison Avenue and historic designs by Jeanne Lanvin at the museum), I know it’s time to chill, literally and figuratively.

And, it’s fitting because it supports my quest to take time for myself and to appreciate living in New York as I pledged in “New Season, New Changes.” Getting a little help with my summer work schedule doesn’t hurt either.

As I sneak a pillow under my feet and the fan blows between my blue-polished toes, I can’t help but feel like I’m fulfilling my mission to be a happier, more relaxed person. Yet, in reality, I have to admit, it’s been a challenge to stress less and relax more. It’s funny how trying not to stress can be a source of anxiety.

Over the last couple weeks I’ve tried to live by new mantras of waking earlier, not sweating the small stuff and seeking fun activities. Well, finding fun is the easy part, but then finding time to work, write, exercise, spend time with friends AND sleep is tricky. And, once I’m doing all those things, limited sleep makes the little things like a being pushed in the subway, or forgetting your cell phone at home, pretty annoying.

What’s worse is feeling like I’m failing at my own personal challenge, when at the end of each day, I realize I’ve only achieved some of the goals for that day. At night I wondered, how can so many women lead amazing, productive and happy lives and not feel exhausted? Is it possible? And then, when I think I’m about to figure it out, I fall asleep with a book in my face and the light on.

The next morning I’d try again to strike the balance between, work, play, personal relationships and fitness, again wondering why there’s only 24-hours in a day.

But, it’s funny, after today, I feel like I’m on the right track, taking one step closer to achieving this goal to change my lifestyle. Except, the difference between today and the past week is, I didn’t force it. My schedule allowed it and I didn’t mind that I only managed to check off most of the items on my list — to be happy, I don’t necessarily have to do it all.

I think that’s what I learned today. Feeling content with your life isn’t always about doing everything right, it’s about making time to feel right about what you’re doing.

For those of you who are also on mission to improve your life by getting up early, taking time to laugh, or any other new goals I mentioned in my previous post, don’t fret, change takes time.

Like women’s rights and fashions, which continue to evolve over decades, change can be beautiful, though subtle, one moment at a time…if you let it.

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New Season, New Changes

Image By Global Wellness Project

There comes a time of year when you need a change. For me, that change is now. From my blog’s new design, to small improvements in my schedule and in my apartment, my spring cleaning is all about being positive and creating new habits.

With slightly longer daylight hours, I’m attempting to start my days earlier. After reading several articles about how rising early will increase one’s productivity and overall mental health, I realized the quality of my day would improve if I got up and went to bed, one hour earlier.

Also, I think more time needs to be spent laughing. I’m not sure how I’m going to do that, but I think the first step is finding fun things to do with friends as frequently as possible.

The next change I’m going to make is: take time to relax. And, I’m not talking about adding more TV watching to my schedule. Reading, going for walks, hanging out at the park, playing guitar and writing, will be my new relaxation methods.

My other plan is to stress less. When it comes to work, writing and my personal relationships, my new mantra is “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” If I can simply let annoying experiences that have no meaning go, then it will decrease my stress. (I hope!)

Finally, I’d like to start going to the gym more frequently. When I work out, I feel happier. I’ve always wanted to hit the gym before work, it could work well with my new efforts to wake up earlier. Going to the gym only three days a week is good in terms of health benefits, but even if I go for 30 minutes a few more times a week, I just might find that my stress level is down and I might have more energy to find those fun laughing moments.

To find your own practical ways to improve your life, I recommend exploring this list: 42 Practical Ways to Improve Your Life. Best of luck to you and your spring cleaning!

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