A gal’s birthday makes her think about a lot of things — the past (Where did my twenties go and why do I still feel 21?), the future (What does it mean to be in my “late twenties?”), and how I can make this my best year yet (Get back to writing, you dork.)?
You see, last week was my birthday and I was lucky to share it with my sweet co-workers and kind friends, and of course my generous husband who planned a surprise trip for me to San Francisco. I couldn’t ask for more. It was a fun weekend — delicious seafood, time with family, and lots of walking around one of my favorite cities… but there’s something about my birthday that always makes me reflect on what I’ve done with my life and where I’m going next.
I know I’m not the first person to feel this way, I bet we all go through it one time or another. Even rocker Sammy Hagar once said: “Every year on your birthday, you get to start new.” I think a guy with an album called “Livin’ It Up!” might know a thing or two needing a fresh outlook.
So, how do you start a new path and make the next year better than the last? I have a few ideas.
As a kid I believed I would be married by 25, with a baby by 28 and running my own magazine by my thirties. Yikes. Clearly, my young self was overly ambitious and completely unaware of the time and efforts required to cultivate relationships, a family and a career, while still pursuing an education, having a social life and maintaining an exercise regimen and doing laundry. Life takes time, especially when trendy delicates need to be hand-washed.
I think some birthdays, like the turn of the new year, bring pressure and anxiety, when they should actually be rewarding and liberating. Who wants to be analyzing their 12-year-old self’s life plan while feasting on a crab cake in North Beach? Not me. Ok, clearly it was me, but here’s me trying to be older and wiser. I’d like to plan some things that I could do before I turn 29. Sure, I’d like to say I’ll finally make that trip to Paris or learn to design and sew my own clothes, but let’s be realistic, here. That’s a lot of expectations to put on myself in a mere 365 days. I can think of one, realistic goal for the year, and I’ll be honest, it directly supports and relates to my new year’s resolution to take better care of myself: Make a commitment to doing things that make me happy.
Often I, like many others get distracted and bogged down by obligations, laziness, routines and work — when sometimes a better choice, even a small one, could make me happier. Leaving work when I promise myself I will. Taking a moment to relax without feeling guilty that I should be doing something else. These types of things impact how we enjoy our days and I need to make sure I make choices that benefit my happiness over everything else.
My trip to San Francisco for my birthday reminded me of this — things don’t have to be so planned or focused on specific goals. I may not run a magazine or learn how to sew, but that’s ok. My goals right now are simple. Be myself. Spend quality time with people I love. Make my home more beautiful and tranquil. Take time to relax. Cook healthy and delicious foods. Go to yoga. Write every day. I don’t need much more.
I, like many others, get so wrapped up in my daily routines and tasks. It’s easy to forget that happiness is something you can create yourself at anytime, anywhere. Why blow out the candles by making a wish, when you can actively choose to change your life.
Great things come to those who work and play hard. I’ve had 28 years to practice and I’ll keep going until I get it right. Starting now.
Any one else game to give it a go with me?